I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
