there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
