I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
