Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
