He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
