Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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