Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
