Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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