I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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