I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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