in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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