If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
two words...techno handjob
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
