There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
