best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
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