he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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