Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
