What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
