This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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