i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I didn't notice because vodka
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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