They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
