found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Randomize
