Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
