I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
