Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Randomize
