maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Randomize
