Cold hands, warm shart.
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
