Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
