oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
operation have a gay friend backfired
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
