Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
