I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
