Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
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