do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
