Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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