and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Do vagina's smell?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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