You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
