So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
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