if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
