I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
