and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
