Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
