what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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