Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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