Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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