i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
