Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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