I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
