Non-Jews are for practice
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
