2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
