the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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