dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
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